Why Surface-Level Coaching Wasn't Enough: My Journey to Real Healing

Ever feel like you're doing all the "right" things but still hitting invisible walls? I used to think I just needed better strategies. Turns out, I needed to dig way deeper.

The Day I Realized Traditional Coaching Had Its Limits

Picture this: I'm sitting across from yet another client who's "doing everything right" but still

feels stuck. Goals? Check. Action plans? Check. Positive mindset work? Double check.

But something was off.

Despite having all the IPEC coaching tools at my disposal, I kept watching the same pattern play out. Clients would make progress, hit their goals, then somehow circle back to the same old struggles. It was like watching someone try to build a house on quicksand. No matter how beautiful the structure, it kept sinking.

And honestly? I was experiencing the same thing in my own life.

The Uncomfortable Truth About "Success"

Here's what nobody talks about in the personal development world: you can have all the right strategies and still feel like garbage.

I had clients who were crushing it professionally but felt empty inside. Others who'd mastered their morning routines but couldn't sleep at night because of anxiety. People who could manifest material success but kept sabotaging their relationships.

The more I worked with people, the more I realized we were all treating symptoms instead of

causes. It's like taking painkillers for a broken bone, sure, you feel better temporarily, but you're not actually healing.

That persistent uneasiness I kept seeing everywhere? It wasn't a motivation problem or a strategy problem. It was a healing problem.

When I Hit My Own Wall

The wake-up call came when I found myself giving advice I couldn't fully follow myself. I knew all the techniques, had all the certifications, but I still had these weird patterns that made no logical sense. Like why I'd get physically sick before big opportunities. Or why I could help everyone else set boundaries but couldn't say no to save my life. Or why success felt scary instead of exciting.

Traditional coaching kept telling me to "just do it anyway" or "fake it till you make it." But my body and my subconscious had other plans.

The Game-Changers: RTT and EMDR

This is where my real education began.

When I first experienced Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT), I thought I was just trying another technique. What I got was a complete mind-blow.

RTT doesn't just ask "what's wrong with you now?" It asks "what happened to you then?" Under hypnosis, I could access memories and experiences that my conscious mind had completely forgotten but my subconscious was still running like background software.

I discovered that my fear of success wasn't random. It was connected to a specific moment

when I was seven years old and got in trouble for outshining my struggling sibling. My people-pleasing wasn't just a personality trait, it was a survival strategy I'd developed after witnessing my parents' volatile relationship.

Suddenly, everything made sense. And more importantly, I could actually heal it at the source.

EMDR: Rewiring My Nervous System

EMDR was like defragmenting my emotional hard drive. All these stuck experiences that were still triggering my fight-or-flight response? We could actually process them and file them away properly.

The bilateral stimulation helped my brain realize that the danger was over, the hurt was in the past, and I could stop running those old protective programs. For the first time in my life, I wasn't fighting against invisible forces. I was free.

What Real Healing Actually Looks Like

Here's the thing about going to the source: It's not comfortable. It's not a quick fix. And it

definitely doesn't fit on an Instagram quote. But it works.

My Personal Transformation

Within months of doing this deeper work, things started shifting in ways I couldn't have

imagined:

• That chronic anxiety that I'd just accepted as "part of my personality"? Gone.

• The imposter syndrome that made every success feel fake? Dissolved.

• My ability to receive love, money, and opportunities without immediately trying to give it

all away? Finally online.

I wasn't just managing my issues anymore—I was actually resolving them.

What Changed for My Clients

The difference in my practice was night and day. Instead of spending months helping people

white-knuckle their way through behavior changes, we could get to the root in a few sessions.

One client discovered her "lazy" pattern was actually her nervous system's way of protecting her from the perfectionism that had nearly killed her in childhood. Another realized his fear of commitment stemmed from watching his father abandon the family, and his subconscious was just trying to avoid causing that same pain.

When you heal the source, the symptoms naturally resolve. It's like fixing a leaky pipe instead of just mopping up the water.

The Ripple Effect Is Everything

This is where it gets really good. When you do the deep work, success stops being something you have to force and becomes something that flows naturally.

In Business

My business transformed because I wasn't unconsciously sabotaging myself anymore. I could:

• Charge what I was worth without guilt

• Take up space without apologizing

• Make decisions from confidence instead of fear

• Actually enjoy my success instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop

In Relationships

My relationships got real, fast. When you're not running old patterns, you can actually show up authentically. I stopped attracting people who needed fixing and started connecting with people who were already whole.

In Life

The biggest shift? I started trusting myself. Not the "fake it till you make it" kind of confidence, but genuine, deep-down knowing that I could handle whatever came up.

Why This Matters for You

If you're reading this and thinking "this sounds like me," you're probably right. Most of us are walking around with invisible barriers that we've just accepted as "the way things are."

But here's what I've learned: that persistent struggle, that feeling like you're working twice as

hard for half the results, that sense that something's blocking you. It's not your fault, and it's not permanent.

The Signs You Might Need Deeper Work are:

• You keep hitting the same walls no matter what strategies you try

• Success feels scary or "wrong" somehow

• You sabotage yourself right when things are going well

• You can help everyone else but can't seem to help yourself

• You feel successful on paper but empty inside

• Your body rebels against your goals (getting sick, exhausted, anxious)

Sound familiar?

Taking the Leap

I'm not going to lie. This work takes courage. It means being willing to feel things you've spent years avoiding and look at stuff you've kept buried.

But here's what I wish someone had told me earlier: those feelings you're avoiding? They're

already running your life from the shadows. The memories you don't want to look at? They're

making your decisions for you every day.

The only way out is through.

Where to Start

If this is resonating with you, here are some options to explore:

• RTT hypnotherapy (look for certified practitioners)

• EMDR therapy (make sure they're properly trained)

• Somatic experiencing for trauma stored in the body

• Internal Family Systems therapy for parts work

The key is finding someone who understands that lasting change happens at the subconscious level, not just the conscious mind.

The Success That Actually Satisfies

Here's what I want you to know: the success you're chasing? The one that feels sustainable and satisfying instead of exhausting? It's absolutely possible. But it's not going to come from better time management or more positive thinking or hustling harder. It's going to come from healing the parts of you that learned it wasn't safe to succeed, or that success meant betraying someone you loved, or that you weren't worthy of good things.

When you do this work, success becomes a natural expression of who you are instead of

something you have to fight for. You stop swimming upstream and start flowing with the current of your authentic self.

The Invitation

Your patterns aren't character flaws. Your struggles aren't personal failures. They're outdated

protective mechanisms that served you once but are now keeping you small. The part of you that's reading this and feeling a little spark of recognition? That's your wisdom knowing it's time to go deeper.

The world needs people who have done their healing work. We need leaders who operate from wholeness instead of wounds, creators who aren't driven by trauma, and humans who can model what healthy success actually looks like.

Your healing journey isn't just about you. It's about everyone whose life you'll touch when

you're operating from your true power instead of your protective patterns.

The source is waiting. The healing is possible. And the version of success that feels as good as it looks? It's on the other side of this courageous work.

What would your life look like if you weren't fighting invisible battles anymore?

Ready to go deeper? I'd love to hear about your journey in the comments below. What patterns are you ready to finally understand and heal?

Contact me here to learn more about my transformative work.